Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Is it 2014 yet?

Well 2013 continues to be the ultimate year of the unexpected. It began with surprise baby. Continued with surprise deployment and the house and dog falling apart while D was gone. And now it continues with the military deciding that D needs to go to SOS for a few months starting mid-October. For those of you following along, fetus has a due date of October 8. This means I would supposedly have this baby and D will leave a week or so later. Let me go ahead and describe 2013 to you in Cat Pictures.

How I felt when we found out I was pregnant (roughly three minutes before we joined some of our friends for dinner):

How I felt when I accepted the fact that I was going to have another kid and everything would be OK:
How I felt when D told me a week after I found out I was pregnant that he was deploying.
How I felt while D was deployed and expensive electronics kept breaking, my HOA kept harassing me, my bank kept informing me of credit card fraud, my dog kept puking all over our house (on the carpet), and my kid was an emotional wreck because he missed his daddy. 

How I felt when D told me (the day after he returned from deployment) that he would be leaving for another couple months for SOS in mid-October (about a week after my due date)

How I now feel about surviving a newborn and a 4 year old who is currently obsessed with daddy for the rest of the year by myself.

Aaaaaand  how I officially feel about the year 2013.

So I know I can survive this because you do what you have to. And there are so many people who are worse off than we are. There shall be no "it could be worse" because I already know this. My concern is not even how I am going to do this. Because I have no choice and I know I will be fine (I will be able to drink this time!!) My concern is this:

This small little boy who just got his Daddy back. Who will have a brand new baby sister, a tired mommy and a broken heart because he just got his daddy back and now he's gone again.

My other concern is this. This amazing man who just got his mini me and his wife back and has to leave again. This amazing man who won't get those first few months with his brand new daughter. He missed so much of Link's first two years of life and will have to miss the beginning of hers. It's not fair to him. 

 So send us your prayers, your good vibes, whatever it is that you do that our little girl will come a few weeks early so that D has a bit of time with her before he has to leave again.
You are also welcome to send wine. Lots and lots of wine ;-)

A Time I Had
Link's first 5K!

Thursday, July 11, 2013

The Time I Freaked Out in the Grocery Store

OK So I think we have established that my pregnancy hormones may be getting the best of me. A few days ago I decided to prove it to the public.

I dropped Link off at summer school and went to a business meeting with a club I am involved in. During the meeting I made the executive decision to do something I have been thinking about doing since late February. I decided to stop by the grocery store on the way home and pick up a box of Cap'n Crunch since I have been craving it for about 4ish months now. I was holding out but I let it get the best of me and decided to just give in. After all, I am working out almost every day and my pregnancy weight gain is not out of control by any stretch of the imagination. So why not!?

Oh sweet sugary goodness why do you elude me!?
So I go to our local Fresh N Easy on the way home. I pick up a few fruits and one or two extra things I need to make dinner that night and head over to the cereal aisle. As I am looking at the section where a rainbow puked on the boxes (aka the "kids cereal") I notice an empty spot at the top. My heart drops. Sure enough, the label on the shelf says "Cap'n Crunch Crunchberries $3.99 buy one get one free." It's on sale?!?! And they have no more!?!? NOOOOOOO.

I notice an employee stocking shelves behind me. I pull out my best puppy dog eyes and say to him "Excuse me, you don't happen to have anymore Cap'n Crunch do you?" He replies "No, sorry. Our grocery shipment doesn't come in today." Then, as if he's holding information from me I say to him "Are you sure you don't have like a pregnant lady reserve in the back or something?" "Oh man are you craving it?" he replies. GOOD GOD YES I AM I want to scream but simply reply "Yes!" He commiserates telling me his wife was recently pregnant and he knows how strong the cravings can be. At this point the crazy takes over and I play one of the cards my friends tell me I don't play enough. The "my husband is deployed" card. Yes, the pregnancy card didn't make the cereal magically appear. Let's give this a shot. I look at him and say "But my husband is deployed!!" Let's break down the effectiveness of this statement.
-I still have no Cap'n Crunch
-I now officially look crazy
-I have made this poor unsuspecting employee feel bad about a circumstance he has NO control over.
He asked me a few questions about how I was doing with all that and apologized AGAIN for not being able to magically make a box or two of Cap'n Crunch appear for me despite the fact that I was pregnant and my husband was deployed. 

Yup. I went there. I whined about being pregnant AND about D being deployed to a random stranger because they were out of a cereal I was craving. It. Was. Ridiculous. I know this. I actually floated up out of my body, watched it happening and thought "Oh girl, what are you doing!? You crazy!"

So yup. Fear not. I did get my Cap'n Crunch. It was good. Now I'm pretty much over it. Sorry poor unsuspecting Fresh N Easy employee. Hope the rest of the people that day were less crazy than me!

A Time I Had

Saturday, July 6, 2013

The Evil HOA

OK so I know that some people who read this blog live in the same area and have the same subdivision HOA. They can correct me if I'm wrong (I will kindly ignore it because I am mad... and not just mad but pregnancy mad which makes feelings intensify til you are beyond all reason) but our HOA sucks. A lot. I hate them.

For those who see my constant Facebook updates about every mundane thing that happens to us you know that I have been continually harassed by my HOA since D left. And before then.

Our first issue was that we "didn't have landscaping in our backyard." Which is funny because when we were looking to buy the house in January of 2012 we were commenting on how impressed we were by all the fruit trees and beautiful landscaping in the back. So imagine our surprise when we received a notice that none of that existed. Oh wait, WE HAVE LANDSCAPING!!!! Holy shit. D called them. They argued. He said and I quote "We have fruit trees back there. Would you like some fruit from our fruit trees!?" I have never heard D be that snarky, angry and f***ing amazing all in one minute since I have known him. Anyway we took care of that.

Then after he left they sent me some nonsense about how our address light doesn't light up. This was after I changed the bulbs again. After getting our "second notice to comply" I called them because I had had three dudes look at it, including an amazing doctor who used to do construction and contracting stuff and knows what he is doing. NOTHING works. So I call them up and they tell me "Oh everyone we have sent those letters to seems to be having the same problem." WARNING: ADULT LANGUAGE (like I said, pregnancy mad). OK Bitch so why did I even get a second freaking notice to comply. I'm complying the hell out of things. Leave me alone. Then she says she will bring it up to the board and I shouldn't get another letter for at least two months. Um what? The next letter you send me better be you assholes telling me how to fix it or telling me you are actually USING our HOA dues for something other than paper and printer ink to harass us with. OK well that's on the back burner. I am sure I will hear something about my stupid address light again soon. By the way half the neighborhood has address signs that don't light up and on my way to the mailbox today I saw a house that had just ripped the whole damn thing off. I like their style.

This time I received a letter that they did not have proof that we had our satellite dish approved. It's been there since we moved in in February 2012. OK fine. I get it. You have to submit paper for even looking at your house. I'm surprised we are allowed to park in our driveways. So this process takes me forever. I have to submit an architectural application (which they DID NOT include with my compliance letter). Then I got that but I was supposed to include a letter from DirectTV saying the location of our dish was the only place that would receive a signal. After talking to four different people in four different departments they told me they do not send such letters. So I contacted the HOA again. And had to leave a voicemail again... that they took forever to return. She finally tells me they are lying and gives me the contact info for the tv guy that will send the letter. Really? You couldn't do that at the same time you told me I needed this damn letter?! Then after five days trying to contact this guy and leaving messages and getting no return call I contact the HOA AGAIN. A day or two later the lady tells me she sent me the WRONG contact info. Oh good God. I will cut a bitch. The direcTV thing takes roughly three seconds to take care of and they get the letter over about 4 minutes after I talk to them. I love them. Then I call the HOA to make sure they got it. She sounds all confused, says she has it and asks where everything else is. Well you don't have it because I've been getting the run around on this damn letter. Anyway I finally get everything sent in.

Today I get a "second notice to comply" letter about the dish.
I texted a friend to make sure that she could watch Link.
I got in touch with D to see if they could send him home from deployment early if I was in jail.
I MIGHT need bail money.
I decided that instead of taking a field trip with a bat that I would write what D refered to as a "verbal bitch slap" instead.

I might be a tiny bit nicer if I thought our dues were going to things other than just paying the landscaping workers $2 each to cut bushes and blow leaves solely around the gate entrances. But there is constantly trash all over the neighborhood, the common walkways look like overgrown jungles, nothing fun really happens except a 4th of july block party you are required to donate to if you go...

No one pull the "first world problem" on me. Every problem I have is a first world problem because guess what? I live in America. Also, I have child care and bail money pending and I'm not afraid to use my bat. Pregnancy is making me crazy beyond all reason. I am allowed to complain on MY blog. You are not required to read it. Also, this is part of the reason I never wanted to live somewhere with an HOA. I get that it supposedly increases property values and keeps the neighborhood from looking skeezy. But none of that is going to do me any good if I'm either insane or in jail. Just sayin'.

A Time I Had

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Sugar Crash

Today was the dreaded glucose test to make sure I don't have gestational diabetes. They've changed a few things since the last time I was pregnant. It's not a 2 hour long process involving three seperate blood draws and the same old nasty drink.

Let me describe to you my experience in googled pictures.

My initial blood draw:
Google search: happy dance (most painless blood draw I've ever experienced!)

 How Fetus reacted to me drinking the nasty high sugar drink they make you drink:

Google search: Cracked out ferret

The hour in between my first and second blood draw:
Google search: relaxed (it was nice to have some time to just sit and zone out)

The second blood draw:
Google search: vampire bite on arm (not as painless as the first draw)

What I imagined in my head that the lady doing the second draw looked like:
google search: dragon with a sword (she hurt me!)

The hour in between my second and third blood draw:
google search: super bored (I was starting to feel sick from the drink and I couldn't focus on my book)

How I felt after it was over:
google search: sugar crash (I felt ill. And tired. And like I hadn't eaten anything in a while except for a ton of sugar. Gross!)

How I felt after I stopped feeling sick:
google search: hungry fat kid. (I was starving after no breakfast!) 

The third blood draw was brutal. I have small veins and they tend to move once there is a needle already in them. The third draw ended up with one needle being taken out and thrown away because it hurt so bad when it came out of the vein. I'll have some beautiful bruises there.

Anyway pregnancy is just so fun I could vomit (I almost did after that drink!) But hopefully not too much more blood tests and such as long as they can get my vitamin D levels under control. Maybe I'm just having withdrawals because he's deployed! HAHA. Yes, bad joke. I'll leave you with that. You're welcome.

A Time I Had

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Time for the Positive

Poor Me
So it's incredibly easy to fall into the "poor me" attitude these days. I'm crazy with pregnancy hormones, my sleep is AWFUL, D is deployed, my kid is solar powered and doesn't take naps, my HOA continually comes up with a new problem that I need to fix, and then there is just the every day stuff.

I realized the other day that these are just excuses for me to feel sorry for myself. This is completely unacceptable. There is no reason for me to spiral down into the "poor me I have it so bad" frame of mind.

So here's the thing:
1. Pregnancy hormones just mean that I'm normal. My sweet baby girl is growing and kicking me constantly. Link thinks it's the greatest thing ever. Two growing healthy kids. This is a great thing. Yes, I'm crazy. But at least everyone is healthy.

2. My sleep is awful. But I have a bed to sleep in. I have the ability to sleep sometimes. My kid sleeps through the night. We are safe.

3. D is deployed. But every time he is away I have a chance to reassess. It makes me appreciate when he is here even more. I often see my friends bickering with their spouses. And I remember how I tend to take D for granted when he is here. I've been reading a book and a part of it is "There is only love." Because seriously, the little things don't matter. The broken printer, the kid breaking a toy, the dog getting into the trash, the food not all ready at the same time. There is only love. That's all that's going to matter 20 years from now. All the little crap that we fight over will be forgotten and if I don't treat D like there is only love then I better not expect the same in return.
With him gone I am also able to appreciate how independent and strong I still am on my own. Yes, I rely on my friends and family for some support but I do not have to run "home" to live with my parents while D is gone because I'm scared of being alone with my kid and my house and all the adult responsibilities that come with that. It gives me a lot of self confidence (even when I am heaping on the ground with my hormones crying the my HOA is mean!)

4. My kid is solar powered and doesn't take naps. And he's AMAZING. I have never met a child with more energy and enthusiasm for life. He's sassy and opinionated, yes. But he never quits going and he always wants to hang out with me. That's pretty badass. And with no nap schedule to work around, we can get things done during the day and go do other fun things.

5. My HOA. I can't think of many positive things to say because I still am not seeing where all our money goes to "improve" our neighborhood. And the things they are bugging me about I doubt anyone even notices except their little patrol or their old person spy living down the street. BUT it does remind me that it's good to be here because if I had run back to my parents I wouldn't be taking care of these things and we would most likely be fined. That's all I have on that one though. They have kind of been unhelpful pains in my asses. But what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. So BOOYAH!

6. The every day stuff. I have just begun implementing the "one minute rule." Following this room I will not put off doing anything that takes less than a minute. Like taking a can to the garage to be recycled, filing a paid bill, putting dirty clothes in the hamper, putting a dish in the dishwasher etc. This keeps the clutter from piling up and me from getting overwhelmed. Menu planning helps as well.

So there it is. This isn't a very entertaining post but I needed to write it for me so I can stay positive. Plus, it's my blog and I do what I want.

A Time I Had

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Girls Like Star Wars Too

The Epic Nerd Saga Continues...
So when D and I found out we were having another spawn, something we immediately agreed on is that, no matter the gender, the baby room would be Star Wars themed. Everyone wanted us to have a girl...including D and Link. I would have been fine with another boy. Why? I'll give you a few reasons:
1. No teenage girl drama. I was a teenage girl. I don't want one of those in my house. They are awful. (Sorry Mom and Dad!)
2. Public restrooms. Do you know how easy it is to take a potty trained little boy to the bathroom out in public? It's awesome...unless they need to drop a deuce.
3. Star Wars themed room would be SO easy.

Aaaand we are having a girl so I wanted to make it apparent that it was a little girls room while still keeping it Star Warsy.

So here is my best attempt.

The big picture
I printed out some cool looking Star Wars vehicles prints. Sorry to those who I make mad with this but if you are selling art prints on Etsy, I would go ahead and watermark them. Because instead of paying a butt ton of money, I "saved as" and printed from my computer. Then I headed to Michaels where I found some nice clearance frames (11x14 size. 6 of them for $12) and bought some white mats that I painted pink with acrylic paint since they had no pink ones to straight up purchase. Bam. Cute, badass, and girly and they take up a good part of one of the walls.

Yes, you need to know your Star Wars vehicles at an early age!
-I also bought an 11x14 canvas and printed out a cute little silhouette of a tiny girl walking an AT-AT walker. One of my favorite images out there. I traced it onto the canvas and did a quick acrylic painting. Super easy.
Isn't she cute?!

-The hoop decorations were more time consuming. I used quilting hoops as frames and flannel fabric on the inside. Printed out a few cute images I could find with google (and possibly Etsy and Deviant Art... I can't remember where they came from. They might have been images on onesies!) and put these together. The I added a bit of detail with a black sharpie. No joke. Super easy. Way inexpensive and pretty cute. I did this same thing with jungle animals for Link's nursery 4.5 years ago!

R2-D2, Yoda, and Princess Leia have never been so cute!
 -The mobile! Unless you want to pay $80 for a mobile then you gotta make your own. Granted making this was not cheap because I purchased the plushies from Thinkgeek but the cool thing is that once the mobile is done with, I cut a couple strings on top of the plushies and they are simply stuffed animals for either Fetus or Link! Win. I bought a ladybug mobile for $5 off a facebook swapmeet page. Cut the ladybugs off, added a small thread hoop to each plush and attached them all with black ribbons. Took a lot less time than I thought it would.
Top view

Baby view!
The finishing touches were to replace our comforter in there so it was gray (and reverses to black) and get some new pilowcases. The giant AT-AT walker helps too. I also grabbed a vinyl wall decal Yoda quote that I think adds a lot to the room. It definitely popped more once I put it up. I think I might have even put it on there straight! I'm sure there will be a few more things to go in there, including a print I hope to get made or order that will be personalized similar to this:

 So there it is. Link has a video game room and Fetus now has a Star Wars room. It's been fun creating it because Link is just as excited. 1. He's getting a baby sister. 2. Her room is Star Wars and he loves Star Wars! And then of course they will share the pacman bathroom. I love all three of these rooms because I have basically created most of the things in them. (with the exception of the AMAZING paintings my friend Nicki did for Link's room. I know that starting them so nerdy so young will almost guarantee that we have a football player and a cheerleader but whatever. At least they will be well rounded!

A Time I Had

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Happy Mother's Day

Dear Perfect Pinterest Mom
This morning you were joyfully awoken by your sweet cherub cheeked little munchkins jumping playfully on  your bed. Or maybe you got to sleep in because your amazing husband took your kids downstairs to make you an amazing breakfast to serve you in bed. Or maybe you helped get your kids ready to go out and eat a nice mother's day breakfast with the family. After you all ate you came home and reveled in the amazing day you celebrate being a mom to the most wonderful well behaved kids on the planet while you create yet another wonderful craft together and then frolic outside in the sunshine. You can't believe how lucky you are to share in such an amazing day with your kids and you family.
Dear Perfect Pinterest Mom
I am not you.

This morning I was groggily awoken to the warning bell of Lovey and the overdramatic loud licking of a dog. Both of who thought it would be awesome to wake up at 6am (the new norm in our house these days which I still am not adjusted to). When my very wide awake munchkin crawled up into my bed and I gained slight consciousness I was still thinking of what he had told me the night before: "I had a sad day and you make me sad." So of course I woke up in a "feeling sorry for myself" mood. I tried to force another hour of sleep on us but my kid can't breathe and was sniffing every 3 seconds and tossing and turning. So I turned the TV on for him and started cleaning my house. Apparently when I am mad or upset I clean. No, I did not shower.

I then lost track of the time and since I haven't set up the replacement phone fully yet I can't hear when people send me texts or call me. With the laundry going, the water running and the TV blaring I missed calls and texts from my friends who I was supposed to have breakfast with this morning. I then hear a frantic knock at the door. When I answer I am greeted by "Oh good, you're not dead." Yeah, I'm generally happy to be alive too. My worried friends had got in touch with another one of our good friends who lives nearby to come check on me and make sure I wasn't dead or in the hospital. Nope. I was just in a mopey self-depricating cleaning frenzy while I resigned myself to letting my kid watching TV and playing video games. I'm mother of the year, people.

Of course I then let her in and cried, uncontrollably, when she asked how I was. Yup.

Eventually I got to video chat with D!!! Yay. Except that then I cried uncontrollably at him. In the middle of our chat the friends I was supposed to have breakfast with showed up... with red velvet pancakes and offers to take Link. So I cried completely uncontrollably at them and their entire families. Because I am so emotionally stable today!

Now I know I sound ridiculous. I feel ridiculous. This is not me. But apparently my hormones, my exhaustion and my kid's inability to deal with the emotions he has about Daddy's deployment (so he takes it out on me) are making me into this crazy, unshowered, sobbing mess of a human.

I know Link doesn't mean it when he says I'm mean or I make him sad. It's usually when I turn out the lights before bed and he starts thinking about how he misses D. He can have a perfect day and still get all emo and sad at the very end of it and tell me that the day was terrible.

I know that most of the crying I am doing is because I am growing a person and my hormones are making my emotions insane.

I know that if Link watches TV a lot I shouldn't feel bad. It won't ruin him.

I know my friends want to help me and support me and don't expect anything in return.

I know all this but I still feel overwhelmed, crazy, guilty, sad, and like I need to get my shit together so I can repay all the favors!

I celebrate mother's day every day because I am grateful for my mom and I am grateful for the amazing little boy that made me into a mom. And on this day that I happen to be a big fat hot mess, the rest of the country just happens to be celebrating the same thing. I did not have the perfect morning. But my kid is alive, my fetus won't stop kicking me, my dog is alive. We are all as happy as circumstances allow and that's a lot! And now my house is clean! So you know what? It's been a good morning. And I'm not the perfect mom who made the perfect mother's day with her kid. But I am a happy mom and I can't believe how lucky I am to get to hang out with my intelligent, charmingly annoying, sassy, opinionated, talented, persistent, independent-at-inconvenient-times, "helpful," curious, adorable little boy every day...all day.

Being a mom is freaking hard. Especially when you are pregnant again and your husband is deployed. But we are still luckier than most and I'm glad I have one of the more difficult jobs in the world. I wouldn't change it for the world.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mommies out there. You are warriors no matter how old your kids are, how many you have, what they are (dogs, cats, humans, etc), if they are still with you, etc. ALL moms. You are amazing. (Dads too but today is mother's day so I'm focusing on moms!)

I'm not perfect but we are all alive and happy so BOOM world!

A Time I Had

Friday, May 10, 2013

Another thing I accept

As part of deployment I also accept that when I am home eating my food will be cold and if I decide to eat it hot before everything is done cooking/baking/frying etc, whatever was left on/in the oven/stove will burn. So cold food or burned food it is. But you know what? At least it's food and my kid and my dog are alive and eating their meals contently. OK Bowser is eating his meals contently. I have also accepted that Link will not eat most of the food I spend more than 8 minutes making. This includes chicken nuggets. He's alive. It counts.

A Time I Had

Thursday, May 9, 2013

The Law of Deployment

Yet again I know I don't post much but maybe this will help me.
For those that most likely read this you know D has deployed. For those of you who don't know the "Law of Deployment" it's basically just Murphy's Law.

So instead of letting the pregnancy hormones get the best of me (which I have been doing lately...it involves a lot of overdramatic crying in a pillow) I have decided to blog about how ridiculous all the things that have gone wrong are. That and things I have just plain come to accept as normal that might not be under normal circumstances.

So here's a list of things that have gone missing (that I have noticed) since D left:
-the deshedding dog brush. Of course this has gone missing because I just vacuumed.
-Link's nail clippers. My goose is now a sharp nailed kitten.
-The whisk attachment to my hand mixer.
-Most of my sanity. Seriously, can't find it anywhere.

Here's a list of things that have broken since D left:
-Our address light and doorbell
-My brand new expensive cell phone
-Our printer (which is bad for a club secretary)
-My sweet little Inky's heart. Tonight he told me that he has a flight suit in his closet and maybe if he wears it he can go fly the plane with Daddy. I sobbed when I left his room.

A list of things I have come to accept since D left:
-Link's happy birthday banner will never be taken down. It is now a part of our home decor.
-We live out of a laundry basket
-My evergrowing collection of cups will grow and grow til there are none left downstairs because D is not here to make fun of me for it. (right now there are only 4 on my headboard... yes, I'm just protecting from alien invasion. Have we not seen Signs?!)
-Just as I am falling asleep every night my guard dog will bark to warn me that a leaf blew outside somewhere
-I will most likely have to chase the dog down after someone lets him out this week.
-Video games are essential to fun, sanity and mommy/son bonding (and also that I don't have to try to lose to my 4 year old, it just happens now)

I've also come to accept that I will live in a perpetual state of complete exhaustion. Inky has endless energy and whatever he doesn't take from me, Fetus is doing a a good job of stealing. Being exhausted is no longer a feeling but a part of my personality. I'm OK with it. I also knew I had amazing friends and a great support system BUT I had no idea how many amazing friends I had and how amazing their support would be. I'm so lucky. SO SO lucky.

A Time I Had

Sunday, January 27, 2013

What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas

I honestly don't even know how to begin this post because I feel like it needs a decent build up for you to truly appreciate the thing that happened to me tonight.

So today I decided I was going to be productive and clean. Not just dishes and wipe down the stove, but clean out closets and cabinets kind of cleaning. It took me a good part of the day to do downstairs. I didn't have a ton of relax time. We then had some really great friends over for dinner and (as always) had an amazing time. I made some dinner. We ate some dinner. Then I had to go to a MOMS Club board meeting. 2 hours later I returned home. When I got home I cleaned the kitchen because D wasn't feeling well. At this point my back is killing me. Whatever, I'm a trooper! When done with that I came upstairs to add some things to the newsletter that I make for my moms club. I'm sitting at the desk typing away and I hear Link whimper. He's already been put to bed and after the one whimper I hear nothing.

Before I continue let me just explain one thing. My amazing, adorable, incredibly smart, wonderful, spectacular little boy sometimes sleep walks and he talks in his sleep. It's kind of endearing.

OK. So I hear nothing after the whimper. Until I hear something. I sit for a minute. What is that sound? It sounds like...oh he had to go potty. Wait a second though. That doesn't sound like it normally does. I get up from my computer. My amazing, adorable, incredibly smart, wonderful, spectacular little boy is standing at the very top of the stairs. And he is peeing. Like a freaking statue cherub at the top of a water fountain. In this one moment I wish I had a girl. Because in this moment if I had a girl that was peeing at the top of the stairs I would have a puddle to clean up. I don't have a little girl. I have a little boy and I am staring at a few drips at the top step where he did "the shake" followed by a staircase of pee that he totally launched (it was actually kind of impressive). But you know that scene in Kung Fu Panda where Po looks up at the stairs he has to climb? That was me. 

I have to clean urine off of ALL those stairs?!
My kid peed all the way down my carpeted staircase. In his sleep. He never even woke up. He sleep peed all the way to the downstairs from the top step. Yes, that happened. He has sleep peed before (not wet the bed but not been fully awake when he got up and peed in the toilet) so I'm not sure what made him walk to the stairs and stop an inch from the top step to urinate. I'm mostly glad he didn't fall down the stairs.

Boys are awesome. My back hurts. But my stairs are clean now. This would never happen at "naptime."

A Time I Had

Friday, January 25, 2013


It's official. My kid has completely given up naps. I've known this for a while but if I snuggled with him I could usually get him to fall asleep after a bit and then sneak out. It wasn't ideal but as any mommy knows, NAPTIME ROCKS! Those days are over and I learned it the hard way this week.

Exhibit A
I am still a big fan of "quiet time" because he needs a break from his energizer bunny style of play. Well as I am sitting in the office working on a newsletter I hear a loud bang. Then I hear nothing. This is followed by a scream and dramatic crying. I run to Link's room, fling open the door and Link is on the floor by his window and his chair is on top of his bed on it's side. You can see exactly how it dumped him off into the wall. After making sure his eyes were fine and I wouldn't have to rush him to the ER I asked him what happened. He replied "I just falled off the chair and goed splat on the ground." Yup.

Today during "naptime" he comes up to me with his face slightly damp and says "Mommy, what do I smell like!?" All I could do was laugh. What the heck!? Luckily it was only foaming hand sanitizer that the little thief ganked from my purse but the possibilities of what it could have been are endless and terrifying!

I'm sure these shenanigans are going to continue and instead of being bothered by it, I'm just going to make these ridiculous events into blog posts for my readers to be enjoy.

Bye bye naptime!

A Time I Had