Sunday, January 27, 2013

What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas

I honestly don't even know how to begin this post because I feel like it needs a decent build up for you to truly appreciate the thing that happened to me tonight.

So today I decided I was going to be productive and clean. Not just dishes and wipe down the stove, but clean out closets and cabinets kind of cleaning. It took me a good part of the day to do downstairs. I didn't have a ton of relax time. We then had some really great friends over for dinner and (as always) had an amazing time. I made some dinner. We ate some dinner. Then I had to go to a MOMS Club board meeting. 2 hours later I returned home. When I got home I cleaned the kitchen because D wasn't feeling well. At this point my back is killing me. Whatever, I'm a trooper! When done with that I came upstairs to add some things to the newsletter that I make for my moms club. I'm sitting at the desk typing away and I hear Link whimper. He's already been put to bed and after the one whimper I hear nothing.

Before I continue let me just explain one thing. My amazing, adorable, incredibly smart, wonderful, spectacular little boy sometimes sleep walks and he talks in his sleep. It's kind of endearing.

OK. So I hear nothing after the whimper. Until I hear something. I sit for a minute. What is that sound? It sounds like...oh he had to go potty. Wait a second though. That doesn't sound like it normally does. I get up from my computer. My amazing, adorable, incredibly smart, wonderful, spectacular little boy is standing at the very top of the stairs. And he is peeing. Like a freaking statue cherub at the top of a water fountain. In this one moment I wish I had a girl. Because in this moment if I had a girl that was peeing at the top of the stairs I would have a puddle to clean up. I don't have a little girl. I have a little boy and I am staring at a few drips at the top step where he did "the shake" followed by a staircase of pee that he totally launched (it was actually kind of impressive). But you know that scene in Kung Fu Panda where Po looks up at the stairs he has to climb? That was me. 

I have to clean urine off of ALL those stairs?!
My kid peed all the way down my carpeted staircase. In his sleep. He never even woke up. He sleep peed all the way to the downstairs from the top step. Yes, that happened. He has sleep peed before (not wet the bed but not been fully awake when he got up and peed in the toilet) so I'm not sure what made him walk to the stairs and stop an inch from the top step to urinate. I'm mostly glad he didn't fall down the stairs.

Boys are awesome. My back hurts. But my stairs are clean now. This would never happen at "naptime."

A Time I Had

Friday, January 25, 2013


It's official. My kid has completely given up naps. I've known this for a while but if I snuggled with him I could usually get him to fall asleep after a bit and then sneak out. It wasn't ideal but as any mommy knows, NAPTIME ROCKS! Those days are over and I learned it the hard way this week.

Exhibit A
I am still a big fan of "quiet time" because he needs a break from his energizer bunny style of play. Well as I am sitting in the office working on a newsletter I hear a loud bang. Then I hear nothing. This is followed by a scream and dramatic crying. I run to Link's room, fling open the door and Link is on the floor by his window and his chair is on top of his bed on it's side. You can see exactly how it dumped him off into the wall. After making sure his eyes were fine and I wouldn't have to rush him to the ER I asked him what happened. He replied "I just falled off the chair and goed splat on the ground." Yup.

Today during "naptime" he comes up to me with his face slightly damp and says "Mommy, what do I smell like!?" All I could do was laugh. What the heck!? Luckily it was only foaming hand sanitizer that the little thief ganked from my purse but the possibilities of what it could have been are endless and terrifying!

I'm sure these shenanigans are going to continue and instead of being bothered by it, I'm just going to make these ridiculous events into blog posts for my readers to be enjoy.

Bye bye naptime!

A Time I Had