Thursday, July 19, 2012

I'm a Good Mom

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I'm a good mom. Sometimes I am a better mom than other times. This post is probably something CPS should never see because I am sure they would haul my kid away and arrest me or something. But rest assured, Link was always fine and there is no way I would willingly let something awful happen if I could prevent it.

All this said, I like to take pictures. I will not insult anyone and call myself a photographer because I am NOT but I like having tons of pictures to remember stuff. It just gives me warm fuzzies. So I take A LOT of pictures (as all my poor friends can attest to... and my poor kid who is sick of me with a camera in his face). So this post is basically a series of pictures where instead of pulling my little runt out of something or asking him to stop doing whatever it was, I snapped a picture instead. Like I said, I'm a good mom.
In no particular order:

Here's Link playing on the dryer lid. Probably not the best idea. Kinda cute though. 

This is the day we realized we could no longer use the high chair because it had magically transformed into an object that could possibly kill our child. Thanks a lot acrobatic skills of DOOM.

What was that? You want to take the sparkler up the slide? Sure honey, let mommy grab the camera first. 

Link likes water. This is just me being proud that he's drinking water. Yeah, OK. It was funky play water out of the water table. Just be happy I don't have one of him drinking it off the ground at the splash pad (even I draw the line somewhere because that's just nasty). 

This was the picture leading up to that crazy ostrich trying to take a bite of my son. I probably should have told him to move since the thing was stalking him but I took a picture instead.

Yes, standing in the water table is a fantastic idea. Picture snapped... GET OUT OF THERE RIGHT NOW!

Right before the park jailbreak when these two busted open the gate. Luckily no one escaped. 

I believe my exact quote was "Link please don't lick that tree. No, wait. I need a picture. Inky, lick it one more time."

My child trying to brush the dog's teeth with his own toothbrush. So cute. Oh wait, that's gross. 

Oh how cute, he can't reach the book.... I don't believe he fell on his head after this. 

I could have saved myself some bath time scrubbing had I taken the markers away instead of capturing this memory but I chose to let him tattoo his entire arm with crayolas. 

This one is great because I have a video of it as well. This is Link stuck between the stool and the overhang on our breakfast bar. He was screaming "I'm duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckkkkkkk! HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLP! Pwease pwease pwease!!" Like good parents, we laughed, took pics and video and then helped him down. 

Screwdriver in mouth. Dog collar in hand. Good to go. (I don't think the screwdriver had the tip in it)

Yes he is on his scooter in his underwear outside. Would you have passed up the photo op? I think not. 

Apparently this squirrel didn't look too rabies infested and we let Link give it a high five. 

I mean, when you're hungry, you're hungry. 

Tiny human, smallish watermelon. It's cute. Sure thing. Link definitely wasn't hurt. Can't say the same for the melon. 

Link began his climbing skills well before he could even walk. Using his activity table only furthered said skills. He just wanted to be tall. Aw, cute. Oh wait. Yeah probably should have gotten him down sooner. Hey guess what, he's still alive!

C.L.I.M.B.E.R. Because crawling up onto the table with your colors is way better than sitting on a chair.

OK this one happened while I was doing dishes. And you have to capture the "helping" pictures. At least after this I was motivated to clean the bathroom. 

In my defense this one was NOT me. First of all I don't even own lipstick. This one was taken my friend Aaron when my good friend Nicky and I went out for a bit. Aaron offered to watch the kids and Link found Nic's lipstick. Once he discovered that it was not blood and it was indeed lipstick he got this picture for us. 

I'm sure there are a whole lot more that I could post on here but the real gems where all at about 1 1/2 years and right around 3. So if you just now have a child under 1 1/2, here's a bunch of stuff to look forward to! I really am a good mom... I just like to capture awesome memories as well. It also helps me remember a few of the reasons why I only want one child!

A Time I Had
Maybe this is why I'm such a good mom!

Monday, July 2, 2012

A Fine Line

The Perfect Fit
I have recently made a very important discovery. There is a fine line between running buddy and "slave driver."

Slave driver

I should clarify. I always knew this little tidbit but in the past it has always referred to my friends who tried to get me to run. They would either encourage me or push me to the point of not wanting to run. I have never been a runner but for some reason since I moved to Vegas I have decided that I am going to become one. Must be something in the water.

D is a decent runner (thanks Air Force). He has never tried to force me to be his running buddy and I am thankful for that. I am not the type to take to being pushed into working out. I don't respond well. Usually I respond violently. This is bad. So since I now have motivation I just need a small push in the right direction. Like, you know, someone to keep a good pace. Someone that doesn't laugh at me when I look like I am going to DIE A HIDEOUS DEATH after running half a mile! That kind of encouragement. I have three options that are usually readily available. D, Link and Bowser. Let's examine these options shall we?

First there is D.

He's great. He gives me wonderful advice and pushes me to keep going. But like I said before, he's a good runner. He makes me look like an 800 pound fat chick running with a cheeseburger in one hand and a cigarette in the other as I huff and puff down the street gasping for air. "You can go faster" he says. "We will move up to 2 miles" he says. Honey, I'm just trying to make it to the end of the block without puking up my liver and lungs who have decided they would much rather indulge in some wine and some second hand smoke because it would be less work for them.

Next there is Link.

I discovered yesterday that a 3 year old as a "run buddy" is bad on all counts. The little demon in a kid suit is a slave driver. True. He doesn't understand that Mommy doesn't want to "RUUUUUUUUUUUN. Run faster. Keep running. Now RUN. Don't stop." OK kid. 1. There was a car coming. If I keep running we will both die. 2. There is this thing that people who don't run well need to continue doing. It's called breathing. Sometimes I have to stop and convince my lungs it's a fun thing to keep working. 3. SHUT UP! Seriously. He never shuts up. I don't want to have a continual conversation with a crazy person when I am struggling to survive. True story.

And lastly, Bowser. Sweet, wonderful, amazing dog of mine.

I have never been a dog person and quite frankly I think Bowser is a stinky disgusting mess but I love him. I love him even more now that I know he is THE. PERFECT. RUN. BUDDY!
He keeps great pace and if I start walking he pulls me to the side, sniffs EVERYTHING and has to pee on everything he sniffed. Good motivation to keep running. ( I don't think Link or D would do the same...)
He doesn't scream at me to go faster or run further.
He pants louder than I do so I feel like I'm not in such bad shape!
He makes me less of a target for someone who might try and mess with me. Big ass black dog. You probably aren't going to mess with me. We'll cut you.
Because he runs with me now his nails are filed down and we don't have to fight the fight to cut them so often. 
And lastly, he's awesome.

Thanks pup, for training me for a 5K!

A Time I Had

Sunday, July 1, 2012

A Week in June

Now that it's July I'll get on my Week in June picture post of my demon spawn!

Here's the goose in June 2009. He was 2 months old.  

Once upon a time my little one was tiny, sweet, and semi-quiet! He was a real life baby that I got to dress up, snuggle and wipe poop off of!

June 2010:
 This is about the time I realized how much trouble he was going to be. This was also the month he took a dive off of a pallet cart in Lowes onto the concrete floor and received his first (of many) significant head injury.. a gigantic goose egg right on his forehead.

June 2011:

 This was right when we moved away from the happiest place on earth (Alaska) to the sweltering nasty they call Texas. He loved all the playgrounds but instead of it being too cold to go it was slightly too hot. We still had a lot of fun there anyway... for the short amount of time we were there.

June 2012:

 Our friend Jackie brought her motorcycle over when she joined us for dinner and let Link inspect it. He thought it was awesome because well, it was. He's currently an obnoxious little creature who has perfected his whining, his high pitched scream, his punching people, his ignoring skills, his ability to get into EVERYTHING, and his resourcefulness. He's also a lot taller than he used to be which makes his more capable of those last two things. Simply put, he's 3. 3 is way worse than 2. I hope we make it through the year with minimal damage to body and mind! I should also add that he walks around everywhere singing the Darth Vader song like it's his theme song. I'm pretty sure he's evil. 

A Time I Had