Thursday, December 22, 2011

Santa Pictures

Santa/T-Rex, Same Thing
So anyone who has kids knows how fun Santa pictures can be. When I say "fun" what I really mean is "the time when your kid looks at you like 'why the hell did you make me come sit on this strange mans lap while you guys do weird shit to try and make me smile.'" True story. Our experiences with Santa over the last three years have been amusing to say the least. Link never ceases to totally crack me up when good ol' Saint Nick is concerned. And now I give you his first Santa picture experience in 2009 for his very first Christmas.

We went with our friends Aaron and Nicky and their little girl and Link's BFF at the time Alex. We ended up at Nordstroms and our Santa was AWESOME. Link wasn't completely convinced but he graced us with a wannabe happy face to start:
Then he started to get curious. Who is this strange man who has deprived me of my mommy for a whole 60 seconds? He has gloves. He might not be trustworthy...
Wait a second... you are NOT my mommy or my daddy. Who are you?!
OMG. What the hell?! Who is this big man who has me? And commence the classic "kid crying on Santas lap picture." Perfect!

Onto experience #2. Again we went to Nordstroms with our same friends... though this time D was deployed so I had little help in making him smile as our friends now had two little girls to attend to. 2010 was a bit of a different experience. 2010 was the year Link decided Santa was the same thing as T-Rex and that he would tolerate being on his lap BUT determined if he didn't move or change his expression that Santa would not know he was there and would, therefore, not eat him whole. So the majority of the pictures were of Link with a blank expression on his face holding a ball that he refused to surrender.

Finally by some small miracle the photographer caught two shots of a tiny little smirk. He was one. It's the best we could do. Thanks Inky.

That brings me to this year 2011. With remnants of his decision last year that Santa was the equivalent of T-Rex he graced us with some great pics. He was so psyched right before we saw Santa saying "We gonna go see SaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanTA!" and jumping up and down like he was going to attack and bear hug him when we entered the place. Wrong. He had to be coaxed over to Santa and then he gave us this gem:

Then it was as if he had to be convinced that this man was indeed Santa so he did a little investigating of the beard. He determined it was real but that still didn't make him warm up to the suited man.

Then the big guy took things into his own hands. This was the picture D and I immediately agreed would be one of the pictures on our Christmas card. The look on Inky's face is such a classic Link look that it HAD to be on the card!

After Santa helping and me doing a "candy cane dance," D making silly noises that usually make Link laugh, and the two of us bribing him with candy, chocolate and toys (yes, we are those parents) we got this one:

Still even after the small smile we went back to something that was so Link I can barely stand how awesome it is. He leaned back as and gave Santa his evil look as if to say "bitch, I know you're not the real thing."And those have been our Santa picture experiences thus far. I now look forward to it because I may not get the sweet awesome smiling picture with Santa but he definitely let's his personality shine through and makes me laugh. So, SUCCESS!

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

One of those days

Aaaaaand, go.
Ever have one of those days where the night before your kid refused to fall asleep and woke up early the next morning? One of those days when they had to have chocolate on their waffles even though you already told them no? One of those days where your planned walk got rained out and your kid screamed for 5 minutes because they wanted the car that belonged to someone else? One of those days that when you left your friend's house you took away the Angry Birds you had used to distract them from the car tragedy and they cried all the way home because they wanted the phone back because "that's mone, that's MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE?" One of those days that, when you arrived home, you had to hear about how your kid wanted to watch a movie and when you told them no they told you the dog wanted to watch a movie and when you told them no again they screamed at you for an hour? One of those days that because of this kind of morning you now have a headache? One of those days that all your kid wants for lunch is junk and you give them apples that they feed to the dog? One of those days where they refuse to take a nap and instead destroy their room? One of those days that they use "I need to go potty" as an excuse to get up from their "nap" and then give you the "you're so dumb that you fell for that" smile/giggle? One of those days that your dog continually wants outside so you let it out and they immediately stand back at the door and track in muddy pawprints? One of those days that you decide you will turn around by actually figuring out something delicious for dinner but then you go out to the freezer in the garage and the tiny little person that you gave birth to and almost bled to death for LOCKS. YOU. IN. THE. GARAGE? One of those days when you find yourself praying that your husband doesn't have to stay late at work because you are now locked in the garage with no shoes, no keys, no phone and no more hope!?


OK then just me I guess.
Mommy needs a drink.
At least tomorrow will be better!
A Time I Had

Friday, December 9, 2011

The Ultimate Cure

I Need A Smooch
You know those days when your husband's alarm goes off and you wake up and can't go back to sleep. Then you realize you can barely move because your body feels so weak and everything hurts like you did a weight lifting routine all day long two levels above your ability while you had the flu. Then your sweet little kid runs in the room to tell you they have to go potty and you need to "wake up" and you are wondering how the hell you are going to just get the blanket off your body, let alone get out of bed and take care of yourself and a two year old all day long. Anyone know what I'm talking about? No? Just me? OK. These are the joys of having fibromyalgia. I tend not to talk about it too much on here but today is one of those days where I am wondering how I am going to get through the day. I don't have a ton like this, luckily. And I am hoping it doesn't get worse in the future. This is what pushes me for now. I know these days are rare and that this disease can be so much worse.

I suppose the reason I chose to blog about it today was because I sat down with Link and he was upset because his foot hurt. He informed me that he needed a smooch to make it feel better. He was very upset in the pain in his foot so I smooched his foot like a good Mommy. He was magically better. He usually is after a minor injury that requires a smooch to remedy. I will be so sad the day the smooch cure has no more effect. I am sure that when the smooches don't work, 32 bandaids will. Once the bandaid cure wears off he most likely won't be such a little boy anymore. So how am I going to get through this day feeling like I do? I am going to smooch every owwy Link has (which, with a self-proclaimed ninja warrior, is sure to be at least one decent head/facial injury and another 4-5 bumps, scrapes, bruises or just plain "I ran into the wall agains") and enjoy the fact that even though it hurts to move, I still have a sweet little boy who will smooch my head if I tell him it hurts.

A Time I Had
Baby Werewolf!

Saturday, December 3, 2011

North Pole Breakfast 2011

Look What the Elf Dragged In

So Samus, our very own Elf on the Shelf, was sent from the North Pole with breakfast this morning. We came down stairs to a beautiful, very festive and quite delicious North Pole breakfast.
Samus was perched over the setup. She brought a letter from Santa and a blank letter for Link to fill out that she could take back so Santa would know what he wanted for Christmas.

She was even sent for snacks of her own.
Some powdered and some sprinkle donuts to nom on with us.

She hung up some fun decorations too.

This was the entire North Pole breakfast spread that we encountered when we came downstairs.
Link's place setting had some special Finn McMissle socks from Samus.
She set out drink options for D and I. Apple Cider or Earl Grey tea.
We also had snowflake cups for our "reindeer snacks."
Candy Cane milk containers. When you put milk in them and let them sit the candy cane disintegrates into the milk and we enjoyed some delicious candy cane milk.

Some mini "Santa" cakes (whole wheat pancakes made by using Christmas cookie cutters). They were reindeer, snowman, stocking, snowflake, candy cane and gingerbread shaped.
To go with the cakes we were sent some Mrs. Claus Merry Meats (turkey bacon). Perfect since the rest of the breakfast was so sweet.
Some "reindeer snacks" (white chocolate chips).
Then there was some snowman melt sent with sprinkles (vanilla yogurt).
What North Pole breakfast would be complete without some snowballs!? (powdered donuts)
And since Santa caught wind that Link was "slightly" into Cars he sent some Inky size mugs with hot Christmas cocoa.
Here's Link's reaction to the breakfast table. "Whoa Mommy, look at that!? What is it!??!"
Checkin' out his new mugs.
He jumped right up in Daddy's chair and dug in starting with a snowflake Santa cake.
D enjoyed it too. He was nice to keep the worm upstairs for a tiny bit while "Samus" finished setting things up.
We're weirdos. Weirdos that had a yummy breakfast.
And here's a picture to prove I was actually there! Mmmmm candy cane milk.

This is definitely a tradition that we hope to continue. So festive, so yummy, so fun!

A Time I Had

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

First Week of December

Another month down
It seems to me like the months have been flying by this year... even though some days crawl. Like snails. Those are usually they days that begin with "Mommy, let's go downstairs. Mommy, you're not gonna take a shower. Mommy you're NOT gonna brush your teeth. No Mommy, don't dry your hair. Mommy, don't do that. Mommy I want breakfast. I need breeeeeeaaaaakfast." and continue with the same sort of whiny demands. Luckily those "I am so very two" days aren't constant!

We've been having a lot of fun recently doing all kinds of themed crafts, lots of coloring, etc. So it's time for my monthly look back at the worm.

The first week in December the year he was born- 2009
This was the first picture I took that you could actually see his two first little teeth. By this time we were so sick of bibs and had just given up hope that we would ever see an actual outfit! He was a boatload of trouble with his moving around and temper tantrums when he couldn't get something just out of his reach. Of course he was sweet but if he was mad he let you know. This kid could seriously cry because he was ticked about not reaching a ball for 10 minutes straight without a breath! Oh yeah, did I ever mention he was a breath holding crier!? He always demonstrated that very well at the doctor.

Here's the Inky the first week in December 2010:This may have been around the time when I really tried using the pantry door lock. One of his favorite pastimes always was emptying the contents of the pantry and rearranging condiments in the refrigerator. The above is him with pantry contraband. Last year he was also very into Christmas lights, called the live reindeer at the tree lighting "Bow Bow" (what he called Bowser at the time), discovered his new love of sugar cookies and loved shuffling around in the snow.

This year 2011:Every morning he gets up, plugs in the stairwell xmas lights and the treelights. He's obsessed with coloring, drawing and writing. He gets super squeaky and says "Awwwww, he's so cute. I love him" when he sees Baz. He loves glue, scissors and pipe-cleaners which he refers to as "dangerous snakes." He frequently puts on rock concerts with his guitar and likes to jam with his Grandpa over video chat. His Disney Cars obsession has reached critical mass and we are doing nothing to stop it! Aaaaand he's two. 'Nuff said!

A Time I Had

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Our New Calendar

I think I'm Crafty
Every once in a while I have a good idea. Last year it was to make my own advent calendar. I always loved the advent calendar my parents had where you move a little mouse to the numbered pocket and find a surprise inside. I couldn't seem to find anything similar that I could purchase so I came up with my own. Last year I hit clearance Christmas sales and collected a bunch of different mini stockings. I made a tie "blanket" for the backing, handpainted some little wooden circle tiles I picked up from Hobby Lobby with acrylic paint for the numbers and the "December" heading and added a dowel rod with black and silver ribbon to hang it. I then looked around for a little "mouse mover" to move from stocking to stocking so you could see how many days were left until Christmas. I ended up snagging a cute little Pez penguin that I was confident would stay inside the stocking but not be too big. I am quite pleased with the end product and it adds a lot to the decor of the whole room. Go me!

A Time I Had

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

You Just Can't See Our Capes

Go Mommies!
Screw superheroes. Mommies are the ones with the super powers. I never knew how amazing my own mommy was until I had a kid. Now to the rest of those moms out there, you are not human and that is cool.

I have a friend who drove through a foot of unplowed snow and had to carry and walk her two young boys through two parking lots to get to where they were going. Move over Superman.

I have another amazing friend who, even though she is 6 months pregnant and already having contractions, offered to come bring us anything we needed when we got sick. Eat your heart out Batman.

Yet another mom I know does everything her poopy husband won't and she rarely complains about anything. She took Link for me once because D was deployed and I was sick. She is constantly willing to do things for others even when she is having a rough day. She gets up with her little girl in the middle of the night and cleans up puke while her hubby snoozes away. Are you taking notes, Spiderman?

Another friend of mine cleaned poop out of her kid's armpit and is still alive. Hey Captain America, how 'bout them apples?

Today my entire household is sick. Link has been throwing up for about 3 days and D is now forbidden to go to work. We have the plague. D keeps telling me he has no energy and I understand because I feel exactly the same way. Yet, despite that fact I call on the forces of the mommy powers and have managed to do the dishes, clean up some of the house (because what is worse than feeling like crap and living in it?!) and take care of two sick and pathetic boys. When we asked Link today if it was nap time he replied (no joking, this really happened) "No. It's energy time." This is what I imagine "energy time" looks like. This was actually the day after he puked 5 times. This was the 2 puke day.

Yeah. So after energy time I put him down for a nap and D went to take one as well. I love this moment in time... or at least I would have in a perfect world. I went in to take a nap as well (in a separate room so as not to disturb my poor hubby). After about half an hour of Link napping (and me not having fallen asleep yet) he starts crying for Mommy.

Being a mommy means even though you have the plague you will go into your kid's room and let them lay on you because it means that, even though you will not sleep at all like you need to, your baby is comfy and getting much needed rest.

Being a Mommy means taking care of yourself just enough so that you can take care of them because when your kid escaped your womb you were blessed (and cursed) with some sort of super powers that you, and everyone else, will never understand.

I expect my cape in the mail in 3-5 days.

A Time I Had

Friday, November 4, 2011

Lovey Takes a Bath

Best Friends
I always suspected that there was a crazy person living inside my son and today I met him. Let me give you a little back story on the events that unfolded this afternoon. I have always been very happy with the fact that Link never depended on a pacifier or cared to suck his thumb. This made parenting much easier on D and I. However, from the get go he was obsessed with blankets and would chew on them instead of using a paci. When he turned one his affections went front and center to a small security blanket we call Lovey.

Lovey is adventurous. He likes to check out the parking lots of stores... up close and personal. He likes rides on stroller wheels. He enjoys being launched into piles of leaves. He likes taking trips atop the dog. Lovey often joins the family for meals and likes to be included in craft time. And most of all, since he's (apparently) pretty kinky, he LOVES to be chewed on.

Needless to say, Lovey needs plenty of washing machine baths. Usually I am able to sneak him in with a load of laundry but this particular time I was unable to manage such a sneaky Mommy move and so I asked Link to help me put Lovey in the "bath." The following then happened:

Link: Lovey's not gonna take a bath!
Me: Yes he is.
L: No he's not gonna take a bath. Nooooo! he begins to jump up and down
M: He's going to get clean.
L: No. He's not gonna get clean. No, Mommy!
M: But he's all dirty and yucky.
L: No he's not dirty and yucky.
M: Yes he is.
L: HE'S NOT. He's nooooooooot he shakes his head violently
It always amazed me how kids can turn a one syllable words into an eight syllable word.
M:Yes he is and he's going to take a bath.
L: Noooooooo this is when the gigantic anime-like tears start to stream down his face Get him ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutttt! tears roll down his cheeks
M: What's wrong?
L: *incoherent babbling*
M: What?!
L: *says something that sounds like kiss*
M: What? You need a kiss?
L: still crying I need chickens and dip and cheese and apples. runs into the kitchen I need caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaandy. Please I need candy. stops crying
I get a pen to start writing down all the previous events
L: suddenly fine You gonna do that? You do that one? I need to draw. I need that (my pen). It's mine.
M: But Mommy needs it right now.
L: It's Linky's. It's Linky's.
M: Why don't you go play trains?
L: I'm not gonna play trains. tears begin to form and are soon gigantic and streaming again Not gonna play trains. I not gonna play trains. I'm not gonna play trains. I'm not gonna play trains Mommy. No! Not gonna play trains.
L: suddenly fine again Draw a dragon Mommy.
L: sudden flowing tears again I'M NOT GONNA PLAY TRAINS!
M: O...K...
L: screams randomly and sees a shirt on the table I need to wear this. I need to wear this shirt. runs off with the shirt
---washer pauses to rinse---
L: Is he all clean?
M: Not yet.
L: fine again I'm playing trains.
M: Good job.
L: Train tracks. Train tracks. Train tracks. Train tracks. Train tracks.
---another washer pause----
L: It's all clean. It's all clean. It's all clean. It's all clean. It's all clean. It's all clean. It's all clean. like he's freaking rainman or something It's all clean Mommmmmmmmmmmmy. I want a Lovey. I want a Lovey. I waaaaaaaaaaaant a Lovey!
M: Are you OK?
L: I want help the train track.
M: Are you OK?
L: looks up OK. Oh, I am OK like it's a revelation or something!

5 minutes later
Link: Oh, Mommy. I not OK. I need Lovey. and then he runs off

This story has a happy ending in that the damn thing FINALLY got cleaned and dried and my little fruitbat got the beloved Lovey. He squeaked at it for about 10 seconds, threw it at the couch to land on the floor and then left it there while he ran off to play with something else. All that drama for 10 seconds of happy squeaks and then forgotten for an hour. It must be hard being 2. Seriously.

And now, an ode to Lovey:

If we ever lose that dang piece of headed cloth I'm sure the world will end. You know how most people say "If I get on that plane all I really need is our family, my ID and a credit card?" For us you need to add in Lovey. In fact, it might be more important than the credit card.

A Time I Had