Wanna Hear about Poop!?

...I Didn't Think so.
So the last three days have been spent trying out a "three day potty training" method. I was a bit skeptical but it seems to have taken. I am not going to go into graphic details because, quite frankly, I am not one of those parents who feels they need to keep you up to date on when my kid pooped or when they peed... or when and where they did it. Suffice it to say that I no longer need to spend massive amounts of money on diapers and I don't have to fight with my kid to change his "skunky butt" (his words). The first two days weren't the most glamorous but with the last day only bringing on one accident because he insisted that he needed his tricycle right before his nap and was cranky I consider it to be a great success. He has continually woke up dry from naps and in the morning and when he wakes up he tells me he has to go. In fact he told me "be right back, Mommy" and ran away like a crazy person to go potty. VICTORY! I suppose we shall see how it goes from now on but I have high hopes.

The New Man of the House
My sweet little boy is turning into such a man. Today he ripped on, looked at me quite seriously and said "Did you fart?!" All I could do was sigh. Seriously? He farts and then acts like it was me. This cannot be good for future social situations. I remember when he was an infant and he would be on my lap and rip a gigantic fat guy fart and people would look at me like "whoa lady, you are in public, ya know?" and I would blush and point at the tiny infant sitting on me. I admit it was still difficult trying to convince people that a noise that loud could come out of something so small but it was possible. What am I going to do now? I suppose I will keep my distance from the little fart blamer. It's one thing to tell people it wasn't you but when your two year old looks at you like he had no idea he could possibly produce something so crude and asks you if YOU did it, it's kind of hard to convince others that it actually was your kid. After all two year olds never lie or anything. So I promise that I will not go out in public and just rip one. Odds are, if you see Link and hear some tootin' it's the crude little boy who likes to blame others for farting.

Mommy!
In other news my mom comes to visit tomorrow. I'm super excited since I am starved for some adult conversation that doesn't happen over the phone or email. As much as I love the constant topic of trains, race cars, cement trucks, buses, airplanes, helicopters, dump trucks, fire trucks, cop cars, vans, jeeps, all other types of transportation, etc. it will be nice to talk about other things. Not that my mom and I have the most mature of conversations but it will be nice to change the topic for a bit! It will also be fun to go to the Sesame Street breakfast at Seaworld that I made reservations for and to go on the steam engine ride in Austin next weekend that we booked. Other plans include FINALLY seeing the last Harry Potter, going to the zoo, having a movie night (something tells me we will either be watching Cars or How to Train your Dragon. Just a guess), a possible picnic and trying not to die a terrible fiery death here in the pits of hell... I mean 100 degree Texas! Have I mentioned that I miss Alaska like crazy. I guess I haven't mentioned that on this blog yet. There are really no words to express how much I miss it. Not only my friends and my home but the state. It's beautiful, it's cool, it doesn't have scorpions. It was made for me. I was in love. The Air Force tore me away from one of the loves of my life. Thanks for the med benefits USAF but can we go back to AK? Please? No? Fine. You win. Sigh. Anyway, yay for my mommy coming to visit!


A Time I Had

Getting Back into the Groove

Apologies
My sorry attempt at blogging did not last. Apparently raising a kid is a lot of work and doesn't leave much time for much of anything. However, after taking a two year break from the blogging world I hope to throw myself back into it and keep everyone who cares up to date on the various happenings of me and my little family. Here goes nothing.

Dragons Galore
One of Link's new obsessions is dragons. I've known he dug them since the day he walked into our office to see the Wrath of the Lich King WoW login screen. For those non-gamers out there the login screen features a lovely dragon who roars his mighty roar! Link came in, roared and was super excited. So last night after his bath he found one of my World of Warcraft magazines (yes, I'm that girl!) and wanted to look at the dragons since the front cover of this particular issue proudly displays Deathwing the Destroyer. I won't go into details for my non-wow friends but there are several groups of dragons and we went through all of them. The conversation was something like this:
"Whoa it's a dragon. Mommy, look. It's a lot of dragons."
"Yeah it is. Wow. Very cool."
"Mommy what is it?"
"That's Alexstrazsa. Those are the red dragons. "
"That's a lotta red dragons. Whoa. I turn the page. Mommy, what is it?"
"That's Malygos. Those are the blue dragons."
"Blue dragons. OK. Mommy, turn the page. Mommy, what is it?"
"That's Nordormu. Those are the bronze dragons."
"Whoa. Those are a lot of dragons. I turn it. Whoa mommy, what is that?"
"Those are the green dragons. That's Ysera. She guards the emerald dream."
"Whoa I like a green dragon. Those are stars and moons" (by the way stars and moons ALWAYS go together in Inky world) "I need more dragons."
"OK turn the page and there will be more dragons."
"OH MOMMY! LOOK AT THE DRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGON! What is it mommy!?"
"That's Deathwing."
"That's Deathwing. That's Deathwing. I like that dragon."

And there you have it. My child went through all the dragonflights and his favorite is the one that is the big bad guy in the whole world of warcraft. Seriously. I knew he was evil!

Land of the Scorpions
We are still attempting to acclimate to this evil land known as Texas. With a constant temperature of around 98-102 degrees everyday we go outside, sweat buckets and run back to the A/C. If the heat were not bad enough, the driving and all the crazy roads here do not lend themselves well to putting me in a good mood. I'm holding it together but the other night I was viciously assaulted by a cockroach and it broke me! After encountering a scorpion in our living room, a mouse in our garage, various creepy bugs near our baseboards, and D's brush with a tiny lizard in our entryway a cockroach hanging out by my the sink near my toothbrush was not what anyone needed. To make matters worse D is at training, Link was asleep, my dog is lazy and I have never seen a cockroach before in my life. I close the door, run to the hall, grab a plastic bag and a notebook (like I am McGyver or something) and quietly sneak back into the bathroom where the evil roach of Doom awaits me. I quickly discover this bug can fly as he is now on the other side of the room. Armed with my new knowledge of his quick transportation I begin to completely freak out. What the hell am I going to do with my expert bug catching gear? If I get close to this thing it's going to fly at my face, crawl down my throat, take over my body and attempt to raise my son on it's own. So, after freaking out and calling a friend who lives in Alaska from the safety of the top of the toilet seat, then calling my mommy and crying at her for about half an hour I watch the cockroach settle in for the night in the corner near the ceiling and go to sleep... or at least I think that's what it was doing. Regardless, I handled it like a big girl and locked him in the bathroom since the exterminator was coming the next morning. I'm great at this adult thing.

Hopefully I will keep this sucker up to date regularly. That's the plan anyway but we all know how plans work out so smoothly sometimes!

A Time I Had

Whoa

We had a baby! It was about time... even though technically he was two weeks early. After two and a half days of contractions I went through three hours of labor, lost enough blood to warrant a transfusion of two units, had a beautiful son and proceeded to spend almost a week in the hospital with a debilitating headache trying to recover. After numerous people trying to figure out what was wrong with me (Link was perfect and healthy) they decided to send me home to get better. The car ride home and the next few days were less than easy. It was, however, nice to be home again with my pup and my ferret and my comfy bed. I eventually kicked the headache and am now just experiencing the general recovery of having a baby!

Link has been a complete joy. Even though it's exhausting and sometimes frustrating he has been worth every ounce of everything I have been through. D has been amazing. He's sacrificed countless hours of sleep taking care of both Link and I (as well as the pets). I knew I was lucky to have him but I didn't know how lucky until now.

I always said pregnancy didn't suit me and it sure didn't but being a mommy works for me. My little baby is such a sweetie... even when he's screaming in the middle of the night!

I love my little family!

Waiting

High Pitched Scream
With pregnancy hormones and the pain of it all taking it's toll on me I find myself more and more drawn to the idea of hacking off the heads of all the neighbors dogs...
I know I sound crazy but when I try to take a nap (something that is increasingly harder to do with this silly child cramping my organs) and all I can hear is the highest pitched "arf arf arf squeak arf arf arf!!!!!!!" in the world I tend to lean towards violence. It's not only the neighbors to the left now, it's the ones I actually liked. But God bless them, I am going to murder their screechy little puppy. She is adorable and all but with pipes like those ALL DAY LONG she becomes an ugly little runt who I would have no problem disposing of. I know this is probably not the best quality for an about to be mother to have but I can't really help it. Rest assured however that I suck at breaking into people's houses so there is next to no chance of me carrying out my violent tendencies. Take comfort as well in the fact that my sweet ferret and pup are safe and sound... it probably helps that Bazzy's squeaks are without a doubt the cutest animal noises ever made and the only time Bowser ever really makes any noise is when he gets feisty at his blanket or has to pee and wants to go outside.

Ninja Baby is Haxors
So we are still waiting for the little one to make his grand entrance. I have passed the "I'm terrified" stage and am currently sitting in the "Can we get this over with already!?" stage. I know that if I did not have fibromyalgia this would be one of the easiest pregnancies on record I am sure. The worst that has happened thus far is that I was only nauseus for some of my first trimester. No puking at all. I still have no idea what all that heartburn and acid reflux feels like, I got to skip being constipated and all the horrible things that I have heard every other pregnant woman complain about. All my tests were perfect for me AND the baby and everything has been great.... EXCEPT my good old fibromyalgia which, as soon as I hit the third trimester, has given me nothing but hell. And my sweet little ninja baby who is practicing to be an acrobat has taken it upon himself to move all day and all night long. I know it's a good thing because I don't have to worry (and it saves me the concentration of having to do fetal kick counts) but holy crap already. Because of his constant rolling around and moving and the fact that he has dropped already my back it killing me. Ninja baby is ruining my quality gaming time with D! LOOT HAX! I can't sit at my desk for decent periods of time because of the pain. It's quite frstrating. How am I supposed to teach my fetus to be a good gamer if he's making it impossible to game!?

The Let Down
Since I am officially running off of about one brain cell (yes it's true, pregnancy makes you a bit more dumb) at the moment I have nothing really to write about. Most of my energy goes into trying not to claw this baby out of me. Hopefully I will be able to update more often with something amusing. I am sure with a newborn about to pop I will have plenty of good material. For now though I leave you with this lackluster update. Enjoy what you can get! (and if there are typos and sentences that aren't quite right... I'm running on one brain cell people.. deal with it!)

A Time I Had

Put a Muzzle on

Wake Up Call
6:07 AM: My alarm goes off. But wait, I didn't set an alarm. Why the heck am I awake.
*shrill screeching annoying, please punt me across the city rat dog barks*

It's the neighbor's little puntable dog barking it's annoying screechy ear piercing little bark because it wants to come inside. People, it's 6 AM. Let your little gerbil of a dog back in so that every 3 seconds it's not squeaking. My neighbors are the devil, I am sure of it at this point. My body is still sleepy because I am pregnant and in the third trimester my sleep now consists of waking up every half hour because I am so uncomfortable. My mind, however, is quite awake and thinking "I wonder if the eagles have had breakfast yet. I bet they could take off with that sad excuse for a dog no problem." Then I feel all guilty for thinking such things... for about 2 seconds in between the shrill little rat barks. Second three hits and I start thinking "If I went out there (in PJs and all) and trapped it in a box, where would I put it so that I could no longer hear it?"

I am not a dog person. I love my doggy because, well, he's mine. I think he's the grossest most disguisting, most annoying pet I have ever owned but I love him. However, I do not like my neighbors dogs, I do not like any dog the rest of my family may ever own, I do not like your dog and I do not like that dog over there being walked on the street. I repeat, I am not a dog person. So when I am rudely awakened by screechy barks from a wannabe rat dog I am not amused. And when it continues to be annoying for over 20 minutes because my neighbors are the most selfish *insert slew of bad words here* that ever existed it tends to make me violent. I am sure that my pregnancy hormones don't exactly help the matter. Then we have the neighbors on the other side how put their destructive dog in a kennel while they are gone all day. While less of a rat and more of a for real dog, it still has the same sort of bark. Ear piercing, stab a pencil through your eyes kind of screeches... ALL DAY LONG. So since I couldn't get great sleep during the night a nap would be perfect. Oh no missy, you will not be taking your nap.

All I can say is that I hope to dear god that when we have our baby that it keeps the neighbor's awake all night. It's already going to keep us up so I'm taking these dog lovers down with me. >.<

Sometimes I feel like Garfield. I think if D doesn't get home soon I may actually go out, get a box, kidnap our neighbors' dogs and try and send them to Abu Dhabi. I suppose it could be worse though. At least I don't have these feelings towards a person at the moment... though 10 more days without D to calm me down and I may go strangle our neighbors. But that is neither here nor there. Damn dogs!

A Time I Had

Ze Brain Cell Leecher

I Cut You
On Friday D and I went to our ultrasound appointment to make sure our baby was a baby and not a squid. We were pleasantly surprised when it did indeed turn out to babyesque! We figured out a few things during the ultrasound
1. It cooperates like it's daddy when it comes to giving valuable information (was turned correctly to figure out the sex)
2. It has it's mommy's violent tendencies when someone invades it's personal space (the hardest punch I have felt to date... so hard the ultrasound tech could feel it)
3. It has creepy skull face (I blame this on the picture the lady took. One of the pictures looks like a crazy Halloween skull you would hang up on your wall as decor for that time of year)

As far as we can tell everything looks great, it's little heart is all good with all the happy chambers, it has all it's required organs and such, it is fully capable of opening it's mouth for a Nom! All in all a great experience and awesome to see little baby movements instead of just feeling like I have a psycho ninja bowling ball in my stomach or something.

Many of you who read this blog already know the sex but for those of you who don't... stay tuned. I like to keep the suspense alive. I know, D knows, if you don't know... HA! Like I said, stay tuned!

A Quicky

Evil Spawn
This is just one of those unoriginal quick updates (the kind that most bloggers bore you with) to let everyone know the wondrous happenings in my sometimes exciting, mostly dull, life. We will be finding out the sex of the evil spawn on December 12th. At this point I'm pretty convinced it has no gender and is simply pure evil. I have reached the point where you can tell I'm pregnant...unless you don't know me in which case you would probably just think that I am a bit chunky and have been eating one too many oreos. Mmm Oreos sound good. Damn. Anyway, this little monkey is making it's presense quite well known to me. I'm walking around like a penguin trying my best not to slip and fall on the winter wonder-ice covered land that is the great Alaskan outdoors (aka my driveway). I'm also greatly annoyed that I am not allowed to eat any sushi because like a good little prego I am having cravings and like a bad little prego I am having cravings for things the doctors tell me I can't have. Like I said, evil spawn growing inside. Sigh.

At Least We Have Each Other
Last Thursday was the release of the Wrath of the Lich King expansion for World of Warcraft. If you have called D or I, knocked on our door or otherwise tried to be social with us I must warn you that right now only food, having to go to the bathroom, medical emergencies in the family and the apocalypse could tear us away from the computers and away from our precious precious leveling and general expansion experience. You can be important to us again once we have fully explored, hit 80, maxed our professions, learned our way around Dalaran and our eyes are bleeding. Yes, we are pathetic nerds but you know what? It's inexpensive, it's fun, it's something we can do together, we totally rule at it and you really gotta start your kids on it young. When I say young I mean still in the womb. My baby is going to kick your babies butt at Warcraft... and we'll probably have to get it some self defense classes in the real world so that it doesn't get beat up and get it's lunch money stolen everyday... ah well ya win a little ya lose a little.

A Time I Had