Whoa

We had a baby! It was about time... even though technically he was two weeks early. After two and a half days of contractions I went through three hours of labor, lost enough blood to warrant a transfusion of two units, had a beautiful son and proceeded to spend almost a week in the hospital with a debilitating headache trying to recover. After numerous people trying to figure out what was wrong with me (Link was perfect and healthy) they decided to send me home to get better. The car ride home and the next few days were less than easy. It was, however, nice to be home again with my pup and my ferret and my comfy bed. I eventually kicked the headache and am now just experiencing the general recovery of having a baby!

Link has been a complete joy. Even though it's exhausting and sometimes frustrating he has been worth every ounce of everything I have been through. D has been amazing. He's sacrificed countless hours of sleep taking care of both Link and I (as well as the pets). I knew I was lucky to have him but I didn't know how lucky until now.

I always said pregnancy didn't suit me and it sure didn't but being a mommy works for me. My little baby is such a sweetie... even when he's screaming in the middle of the night!

I love my little family!

Waiting

High Pitched Scream
With pregnancy hormones and the pain of it all taking it's toll on me I find myself more and more drawn to the idea of hacking off the heads of all the neighbors dogs...
I know I sound crazy but when I try to take a nap (something that is increasingly harder to do with this silly child cramping my organs) and all I can hear is the highest pitched "arf arf arf squeak arf arf arf!!!!!!!" in the world I tend to lean towards violence. It's not only the neighbors to the left now, it's the ones I actually liked. But God bless them, I am going to murder their screechy little puppy. She is adorable and all but with pipes like those ALL DAY LONG she becomes an ugly little runt who I would have no problem disposing of. I know this is probably not the best quality for an about to be mother to have but I can't really help it. Rest assured however that I suck at breaking into people's houses so there is next to no chance of me carrying out my violent tendencies. Take comfort as well in the fact that my sweet ferret and pup are safe and sound... it probably helps that Bazzy's squeaks are without a doubt the cutest animal noises ever made and the only time Bowser ever really makes any noise is when he gets feisty at his blanket or has to pee and wants to go outside.

Ninja Baby is Haxors
So we are still waiting for the little one to make his grand entrance. I have passed the "I'm terrified" stage and am currently sitting in the "Can we get this over with already!?" stage. I know that if I did not have fibromyalgia this would be one of the easiest pregnancies on record I am sure. The worst that has happened thus far is that I was only nauseus for some of my first trimester. No puking at all. I still have no idea what all that heartburn and acid reflux feels like, I got to skip being constipated and all the horrible things that I have heard every other pregnant woman complain about. All my tests were perfect for me AND the baby and everything has been great.... EXCEPT my good old fibromyalgia which, as soon as I hit the third trimester, has given me nothing but hell. And my sweet little ninja baby who is practicing to be an acrobat has taken it upon himself to move all day and all night long. I know it's a good thing because I don't have to worry (and it saves me the concentration of having to do fetal kick counts) but holy crap already. Because of his constant rolling around and moving and the fact that he has dropped already my back it killing me. Ninja baby is ruining my quality gaming time with D! LOOT HAX! I can't sit at my desk for decent periods of time because of the pain. It's quite frstrating. How am I supposed to teach my fetus to be a good gamer if he's making it impossible to game!?

The Let Down
Since I am officially running off of about one brain cell (yes it's true, pregnancy makes you a bit more dumb) at the moment I have nothing really to write about. Most of my energy goes into trying not to claw this baby out of me. Hopefully I will be able to update more often with something amusing. I am sure with a newborn about to pop I will have plenty of good material. For now though I leave you with this lackluster update. Enjoy what you can get! (and if there are typos and sentences that aren't quite right... I'm running on one brain cell people.. deal with it!)

A Time I Had

Put a Muzzle on

Wake Up Call
6:07 AM: My alarm goes off. But wait, I didn't set an alarm. Why the heck am I awake.
*shrill screeching annoying, please punt me across the city rat dog barks*

It's the neighbor's little puntable dog barking it's annoying screechy ear piercing little bark because it wants to come inside. People, it's 6 AM. Let your little gerbil of a dog back in so that every 3 seconds it's not squeaking. My neighbors are the devil, I am sure of it at this point. My body is still sleepy because I am pregnant and in the third trimester my sleep now consists of waking up every half hour because I am so uncomfortable. My mind, however, is quite awake and thinking "I wonder if the eagles have had breakfast yet. I bet they could take off with that sad excuse for a dog no problem." Then I feel all guilty for thinking such things... for about 2 seconds in between the shrill little rat barks. Second three hits and I start thinking "If I went out there (in PJs and all) and trapped it in a box, where would I put it so that I could no longer hear it?"

I am not a dog person. I love my doggy because, well, he's mine. I think he's the grossest most disguisting, most annoying pet I have ever owned but I love him. However, I do not like my neighbors dogs, I do not like any dog the rest of my family may ever own, I do not like your dog and I do not like that dog over there being walked on the street. I repeat, I am not a dog person. So when I am rudely awakened by screechy barks from a wannabe rat dog I am not amused. And when it continues to be annoying for over 20 minutes because my neighbors are the most selfish *insert slew of bad words here* that ever existed it tends to make me violent. I am sure that my pregnancy hormones don't exactly help the matter. Then we have the neighbors on the other side how put their destructive dog in a kennel while they are gone all day. While less of a rat and more of a for real dog, it still has the same sort of bark. Ear piercing, stab a pencil through your eyes kind of screeches... ALL DAY LONG. So since I couldn't get great sleep during the night a nap would be perfect. Oh no missy, you will not be taking your nap.

All I can say is that I hope to dear god that when we have our baby that it keeps the neighbor's awake all night. It's already going to keep us up so I'm taking these dog lovers down with me. >.<

Sometimes I feel like Garfield. I think if D doesn't get home soon I may actually go out, get a box, kidnap our neighbors' dogs and try and send them to Abu Dhabi. I suppose it could be worse though. At least I don't have these feelings towards a person at the moment... though 10 more days without D to calm me down and I may go strangle our neighbors. But that is neither here nor there. Damn dogs!

A Time I Had

Ze Brain Cell Leecher

I Cut You
On Friday D and I went to our ultrasound appointment to make sure our baby was a baby and not a squid. We were pleasantly surprised when it did indeed turn out to babyesque! We figured out a few things during the ultrasound
1. It cooperates like it's daddy when it comes to giving valuable information (was turned correctly to figure out the sex)
2. It has it's mommy's violent tendencies when someone invades it's personal space (the hardest punch I have felt to date... so hard the ultrasound tech could feel it)
3. It has creepy skull face (I blame this on the picture the lady took. One of the pictures looks like a crazy Halloween skull you would hang up on your wall as decor for that time of year)

As far as we can tell everything looks great, it's little heart is all good with all the happy chambers, it has all it's required organs and such, it is fully capable of opening it's mouth for a Nom! All in all a great experience and awesome to see little baby movements instead of just feeling like I have a psycho ninja bowling ball in my stomach or something.

Many of you who read this blog already know the sex but for those of you who don't... stay tuned. I like to keep the suspense alive. I know, D knows, if you don't know... HA! Like I said, stay tuned!

A Quicky

Evil Spawn
This is just one of those unoriginal quick updates (the kind that most bloggers bore you with) to let everyone know the wondrous happenings in my sometimes exciting, mostly dull, life. We will be finding out the sex of the evil spawn on December 12th. At this point I'm pretty convinced it has no gender and is simply pure evil. I have reached the point where you can tell I'm pregnant...unless you don't know me in which case you would probably just think that I am a bit chunky and have been eating one too many oreos. Mmm Oreos sound good. Damn. Anyway, this little monkey is making it's presense quite well known to me. I'm walking around like a penguin trying my best not to slip and fall on the winter wonder-ice covered land that is the great Alaskan outdoors (aka my driveway). I'm also greatly annoyed that I am not allowed to eat any sushi because like a good little prego I am having cravings and like a bad little prego I am having cravings for things the doctors tell me I can't have. Like I said, evil spawn growing inside. Sigh.

At Least We Have Each Other
Last Thursday was the release of the Wrath of the Lich King expansion for World of Warcraft. If you have called D or I, knocked on our door or otherwise tried to be social with us I must warn you that right now only food, having to go to the bathroom, medical emergencies in the family and the apocalypse could tear us away from the computers and away from our precious precious leveling and general expansion experience. You can be important to us again once we have fully explored, hit 80, maxed our professions, learned our way around Dalaran and our eyes are bleeding. Yes, we are pathetic nerds but you know what? It's inexpensive, it's fun, it's something we can do together, we totally rule at it and you really gotta start your kids on it young. When I say young I mean still in the womb. My baby is going to kick your babies butt at Warcraft... and we'll probably have to get it some self defense classes in the real world so that it doesn't get beat up and get it's lunch money stolen everyday... ah well ya win a little ya lose a little.

A Time I Had

Minty Good

Candy Red Tongue
I will go ahead and admit that most of the time my life is quite boring. Luckily for me I have three males in my life that are continually making it more interesting. My thanks to D, Bazzy and Bowser (who I am convinced is actually part shar pei, part Satan).

The other day D and I decided to make a day of being productive. This is something that is quite difficult to do when one lives in Alaska with the daylight hours dwindling. So we crawled out of bed while it was still dark in the morning (roughly nine o'clock or so), made ourselves human and headed out on the town. I would say we were gone from about 10 to 3 or so. Some friends of ours just had a beautiful baby girl so we took it upon ourselves to invade their sleep deprived, new parent home and make them feed us (like the good friends that we are). After spending an hour or so at home baking cookies to take over, we headed out again... much to Bowser's dismay apparently. We didn't really think anything of it since he's usually pretty good when we leave him home. Well he's usually pretty good as long as there isn't a ceramic candle holder for him to munch on sitting on the coffee table or a camera on the chest by the stairs for him to crack the screen on or a loaf of bread on the edge of the counter for him to make his dinner.. that kind of thing.

The thing about this particular night is that he has recently started watching TV with us (he's a fan of medical shows). The only thing I can think is that he has figured out from the evil box with moving people inside it that Halloween is near. He has also picked up that Halloween means trick or treating and eating massive amount of candy. Let me paint you the picture of our dining area. Cute little table, nice sweet fall colored cloth table cloth, BIG FAT bowl of Halloween candy, three ceramic Halloween candle holders. Who sees the problem here? That's right folks. While he may not quite be tall enough to reach that bowl on his own, he is smart enough to figure out that if you give that table cloth a few tugs, all the phat loot in the world will come tumbling down with it!

We came home to find a cute little puppy surrounded by candy wrappers with a candy red tongue and a contended look on his face (until he saw the not so contended look on his daddy's face). Luckily for us we, along with some friends, had pretty much eaten all the good chocolate stuff outta there so he was only able to snarf down ONE Reeses peanut butter cup. We'd have worried if our dog wasn't a massive little steal stomached terror. The Nerds and the Reeses Pieces were all well and good but his candy of choice appears to be mints. Yep red and white swirled peppermints. Loves the thing. We're not even going to tell him about Christmas. Guess who won't be hanging candy canes on their Christmas tree?!

Now I'm not sure what exactly this dog's stomach is made of that allows him to still be alive after eating an entire loaf of bread, a whole bowl of Halloween candy, plastic bags, ceramic, etc etc without even throwing up but I do thank a higher power for it because it's saving us some serious vet bills. Come to think of it, the only time he's ever thrown up after eating something was a few hours after he jammed his big fat head into his food bin and went to town. Odd.

A Time I Had

I didn't ask for poo...

Last Monday was the first appointment we had for our little parasite. All ranting aside, our little one is positioned all correctly, looks like a tiny squid-like creature and has a "normal" heartbeat (with all info in my hands I am convinced our baby is actually a hummingbirdsquid... a very unique little thing woot).

Now onto the rantings of the me.

L2Hire Noob (learn to hire)
At this point in time I am going to overlook the "wonderful" doctors that a certain establishment employs and go straight to verbally attacking the front desk staff for both the clinic and the lab. Not only do they blatantly lie to people but they are quite incapable of doing their job. I've been thinking about it for a while and the only thing I could come up with was the fact that monkeys could do as good a job, if not better.

Let's begin with the clinic. I will give you what actually happened and what would have happened had there been monkeys at the front desk instead.
Real:
I check in at the front and the lady asks me to go through the other doors "down that way" (she does not point in any direction). I tell her I am waiting for my husband to get here and she assures me that she will send him in. So I go to the doors "down that way"... roughly translated I wander around until the wench physically points me in the right direction. D never shows up. The doctor has to go retrieve him twenty minutes later even though he got there about 5 minutes after I did and asked the front desk if I had checked in yet to which they replied "No." LIES!!! SLANDER!!! IDIOTS!!!!

Monkey Scenario:
I go to the front desk to check in. The front desk monkey picks it's nose. I tell the monkey I am waiting for my husband. The front desk monkey scratches itself while it still has nose remnants on it's finger. I am grossed out. I tell the monkey again I am here for my appointment. The monkey flings poo at the back wall. D arrives. I get to see the doctor WITH my husband.

Monkeys: 1 Front Desk Morons: 0 Monkeys win.

I would go into the story about the incredibly rude, nonobservant, upsettingly irritating front desk lab tech that I almost strangled but as you may have figured out, taking about this vile excuse for a human being makes me cranky. Every time I think of her I want to vomit blood. So instead, suffice it to say that Monkeys: 2, Front Desk Morons: 0 Monkeys Win!

A Time I Had















Cheers!